I’ve struggled the past week or so. It’s taken me a while to put my finger on it, and honestly, I’m still not sure I have it all figured out. I’m tired. I’m irritable. And there’s this underlying anxiety about the future that I just can’t shake.

But here’s the thing—I’ve been here before.

One thing I’ve learned in this midlife journey is that when I start feeling this way, I need to pause, get quiet, and ask myself the one question that always brings clarity:

“What do you want?”

That question hasn’t always come easily to me. For years, my life revolved around what other people needed—my family, my work, my responsibilities. Even now, there’s still a little voice inside me whispering that it’s selfish to focus on what I want. I know better, but after years of putting myself last, it’s a tough habit to break.

This week, I sat with a client who told me she felt stuck. 

“I have all these things I want in my life, but I’m not doing anything to make them happen.”

Same.

Here’s the truth: If we want life to be different, we have to do something different.

The start of a new month is the perfect time to refocus. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re just going through the motions, here’s where to start:

1. Schedule Quiet Time (Yes, Actually Schedule It)

We spend so much time reacting to the world around us that we rarely stop to check in with ourselves. Put a time on your calendar—even if it’s just 10 minutes—to pause and reflect.

2. Ask Yourself These Three Questions

How do I want to feel?

What do I want my life to look like?

What voice am I listening to that’s keeping me from starting?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Sit with it.

3. Remember: It’s Not Either/Or

Taking time for you doesn’t mean you stop caring for the people in your life. In fact, when we take care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to show up for others. It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. That same principle applies to what we want from life. It’s not selfish to have dreams and goals and I’m learning that there are ways to create the life you desire while honoring what your people want and need. Again, it’s both/and. 

Once you have some clarity on what you want, the next step is figuring out where to start.

If that feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. That’s why I created a brand-new tool to help you take the first step. It’s launching this month, and if you’re subscribed to my newsletter, you’ll be one of the first to get it!

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and join my free Midlife with Purpose Facebook group, where I’ll be sharing my experience and the practical steps I’ve learned. 

Midlife isn’t about staying stuck. It’s about stepping into the life you truly want.

What’s one thing you want for yourself this month? Drop a comment and let me know—I’d love to cheer you on!